Custody...

Since Jaybe and I were never legally married, it would be necessary for us to go before a judge and declare paternity in order for him to have ANY custodial rights. I know this. He does not. This would have to be done in order for me to receive child support, as well. Since he cut me off financially when he left the house (he stopped putting money into the joint account in order that I could pay the bills, buy necessities like cat food as well as food for the kids (we are now on food stamps), etc) my thinking WAS that I would have to file for child support. I dreaded this b/c Jaybe is EXTREMELY irresponsible when it comes to finances. So much so, that my credit rating was over 780 when we entered into our union, therefore the house, for which his mom gave us a generous (two-thirds the cost of the house) down payment. Then, for two or three years, Jaybe had his heart set on being a licensed massage therapist. So instead of taking small steps (going into a partnership, working at a small, established office) he, with the encouragement of his mother, started renting his own office, which at one-half the cost of our monthly mortgage.
I was working full-time at a job with benefits. When I finally became pregnant, after five years of failed attempts, I also lost my job. At this point, I received unemployment during the first 2 trimesters of the pregnancy and worked part-time during the third. Jaybe continued to follow his dream of using his LMT license by being in business for himself. Sure, he worked for a caterer part-time, and taught part-time at a massage school (which he hated due to the "down time" --i.e. answering phones while his students worked on clients). He seems to have some ADHD symptoms. I find things to do with my "down time", as I am a very internal person. I used to write my college papers in my head before I committed them to page. All I needed was a detailed written outline (think lower case letters), and about 5 days of procrastination. I typed each and every one of them the day before they were due. Never a late paper, never a grade below 'B'. That is just how my brain works. He also spent time volunteering at a local radio station, and little time at home. He rarely had enough massage clients to pay for renting his office. After two years, and much pleading and negotiating from my end, he sublet the office. I offered to act as receptionist (since he was CONSTANTLY double-booking himself or running late to an appointment or forgetting an appointment. I realized then that he was using the office to avoid being home.
(to be continued...)