Okay. One more time, from the top.

Okay I was unfair to Dude in that rejected somewhat spiteful post. I don't know that he ever lied to me about anything. I don't know that he is controlling or just a man trying to keep control of his life. As I go skipping all starry-eyed into our future like stalkergrrrrl323 or something. Here's a man, slightly older but we're at an age where it doesn't matter. He has a boy 6 months Brick's senior. I haven't met Rus, but physically he's a cute kid caught up in a messy situation. Sound familiar? Dude is funny, quick-witted and intelligent. An introvert. Friends are always surprised when I mention that I consider myself an introvert. I am an extrovert wannabe. Painfully shy as a child, I studied human behavior. I sat on the outskirts of life, most memorably with my loving Grandpa, (retrospectively a sort of chubby little leprochan of a man and oh! that mischevious twinkle!) who\;.ould have an arm around me and hold me close as if to silently say, "oh my little eskaysea, everything is going to be all right. That is just how she is. " She being my Grandma. Okay, back to the matter at hand.
Dude and I tried to be friends, I went into stalker mode catchhimandholdhimtightandneverevereverevereverlethimgobecauseicaughtmea MAN! Sent mixed messages, up to 5 or so a day sometimes. I'm pissed LOVE ME NEED ME NEVER LEAVE ME. I'm sure some can relate. BEGGING him to ask me for space if he needed it. When he finally asked I gave him cyberspace. I 'unfriended' him. And then, in a flash, sent a message, followed by, the next day, a friend request with an additional message. I'm like Monica on "Friends". This is me being breezy, being casual. Oh. Yeah. Howdoya like me now? Some yesterday, I finally got the friend request after I left him a more coherent message and handed over the reins of the friendship for awhile. Let's see if I can try to keep myself sane this time. I want to do some energy work on him. I think it would be a great experience, as long as we can keep our filthyflirty mouths shut during it. We will see in July. That is when I will visit his hometown, my old college town.